One woman's path through doula training, childrearing, and a computer science Ph. D. program

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Identity crisis, part 2

Not a week after making what perhaps may have been the most difficult decision of the last decade (apologies to those who think a decision involving them was hard to make), I was instructed by both my advisor and a committee member that now, I must choose a specialization track.

It was like I'd just broken up with my favorite boyfriend, and my mother was trying to set me up with the Rabbi's son.

"Why not? He's tall and smart, and sometimes handsome."

Regardless of whether or not I am still grieving, it is already time to move on. Academia waits for no man. Three similar yet distinguishable paths stretch out like streets at a roundabout, and I will continue driving in circles until I can take a stand: grow a pair, and commit.

To be fair, it has less to do with commitment as weighing options. Which subfield has more funding? Which subfield has more mentors or people willing to advise me? Which subfield has more promise as a fruitful publication venue? Over the next few months, I will be accepting applications, so to speak, and evaluating each subfield's merit.

One of them will be named the winner, and one --- or more! --- of them will be out.

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